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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22471018">Matters of the Heart</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/GeminiRoseHearts/pseuds/GeminiRoseHearts'>GeminiRoseHearts</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>And also mutual dumb of ass, Awkwardness, Fluff, I mean come on its sylvain and dimitri what do you expect, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pining, Self Confidence Issues, but only only at the end?, get ready for clumsy attempts at trying to hook up your friends curtesy of dimitri</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-01-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-01-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 06:41:58</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,684</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22471018</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/GeminiRoseHearts/pseuds/GeminiRoseHearts</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Sylvain tries to play the guessing game with Dimitri about who he likes. Unsurprisingly, it backfires horribly on him. Neither of them have communication skills and it's a trainwreck in motion. At least it's good show for everyone else.</p><p>Ingrid WILL strangle Sylvain if he doesn't figure his shit out, though.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd &amp; Sylvain Jose Gautier, Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/Sylvain Jose Gautier</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>116</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Matters of the Heart</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hey guys! Guess who's back at it again with moronsexual Dimivain! </p><p>I've had this idea kicking around in my head for a while but I only just decide to put it into words now. I have Stupid disease and I didn't outline this so I'm sorry if it's all over the place but fuck I tried.</p><p>Leave a kudos or a comment if you liked it and would like me write more of this ship! I guess I'm gonna have to feed all you fuckers.</p><p>- Psii</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“You know, I do have feelings for someone.”</p><p> </p><p>Dimitri’s fork paused, halfway between his mouth and his plate. He stared at Sylvain, surprise etched in his features, before fading into a disapproving frown.</p><p> </p><p>“You say that about every girl you date. I thought I just told you to be more serious and to stop this frivolous behavior-“</p><p> </p><p>“I have,” Sylvain interrupted. “Haven’t you noticed there have been less complaints around the academy about me? I’ve been extra good ever since you scolded me in the hallway.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yes, less complaints, but still quite a few…” Dimitri mumbled, but Sylvain continued as if he hadn’t said anything.</p><p> </p><p>“And I mean it this time, there <em>is</em> someone I have real feelings for. They aren’t like the girls I pick up.” His voice took on a softer quality with his next words. “I would never play with them and break their heart.”</p><p> </p><p>“...” Dimitri didn’t respond, finally bringing his fork to his mouth. Sylvain went back to eating as well, letting a comfortable silence fall over them. After a couple of minutes where both boys finished most of their plates, Dimitri spoke up again.</p><p> </p><p>“Who is it?” Sylvain looked up at him with a lopsided smirk.</p><p> </p><p>“Why so curious?”</p><p> </p><p>“Am I not allowed to know?”</p><p> </p><p>“I just didn’t think you were interested in other people’s love lives.”</p><p> </p><p>“Well, you’re not just ‘other people’. You’re my friend.” Sylvain’s hand faltered a little, knocking into his glass of water and spilling a little. It didn’t escape Dimitri’s gaze, and he tried to meet Sylvain’s eyes. He pretended to be very interested in the leftover stew on his plate. “Do you not want to tell me?”</p><p> </p><p>“Well, no…I mean, yes! I mean- argh, it’s just a little weird, I guess. It’s someone in our class.” Dimitri raised his eyebrows at that.</p><p> </p><p>“Someone in our class?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah.”</p><p> </p><p>“...are you...going to tell me who?” Sylvain started pushing the cold stew around his plate.</p><p> </p><p>“If you really don’t want to tell me, you don’t have to. I’m not going to push you to tell me. I apologize if I’ve made you uncomfortable.”</p><p> </p><p>“Nah, it’s fine, you didn’t.” He was quiet for a bit, before putting his spoon down. That lopsided smirk was back, and he lifted his eyes to look at Dimitri’s own. “I’ll give you some hints.”</p><p> </p><p>“Sylvain-“</p><p> </p><p>“They’re in our class. They’re blond, and they’re very driven, but also pretty stubborn. Not too great with feelings, but they are good with a lance, and they’re really strong, and have beautiful bright eyes…” He trailed off, gazing at Dimitri. He looked a little nervous, and...something else, too. When Dimitri didn’t immediately answer, he picked up his water glass to drink.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Someone in our class...blond...driven but stubborn...good with a lance and...oh! </em>
</p><p> </p><p>“Oh!”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, I-“</p><p> </p><p>“I didn’t know you had feelings for Ingrid!” Sylvain inhaled sharply, with his glass still at his lips, and inhaled a mouthful of water. He choked and sputtered, spitting back into the glass and coughing. Dimitri beamed, taking his reaction as confirmation. “I understand why you were so hesitant to tell me. Don’t worry, I won’t tell a soul.”</p><p> </p><p>“I-“ Sylvain’s response was drowned out by the bell signaling the end of lunch, and another cough forced him to watch helplessly as Dimitri said, “We should be going. I’ll see you in class” and began walking away. His throat and ears were burning, for separate reasons, and by the time he’d cleared his throat enough to breathe, the prince had long walked away. Groaning, he buried a hand through his hair, staring at the water he’d spit out all over the table. </p><p> </p><p>Oh, Ingrid’s going to be PISSED.</p><p> </p><p>◇◇◇</p><p> </p><p>“Sylvain, I am <em>this close</em> from punching you.”</p><p> </p><p>“You’re fingers are touching.”</p><p> </p><p>“Exactly.” He didn’t have time to move out of the way before Ingrid reeled back and socked him in the arm, hard enough to send him stumbling a few steps backward.</p><p> </p><p>“AAH!! Ingrid, ow!!!” Felix let out a loud snort from his place on the floor, not even looking at Sylvain the other two as he continued to rub oil into his sword.</p><p> </p><p>“This would almost be funny if not completely expected. What did you think was going to happen, idiot? The boar couldn’t read a room if his life depended on it. That would require human level intelligence.“ </p><p> </p><p>“Felix!” Ingrid raised her training lance at him.</p><p> </p><p>“What? I’m right. Just look what happened.”</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t insult Dimitri like that! He’s a lot smarter than you give him credit for!”</p><p> </p><p>“If he’s got such an intelligent brain, then why isn’t he using it.”</p><p> </p><p>“Guys, please,” Sylvain moaned, cutting off Ingrid’s angry retort and use his own training lance to keep her from taking a swing at Felix. “I didn’t tell you guys to listen to you two argue about how intelligent Dimitri is.” Felix glared at Ingrid for a bit before going back to his polishing.</p><p> </p><p>“Why <em>did</em> you tell us. I don’t care.”</p><p> </p><p>“Gee, thanks Felix. This is serious! I don’t know what to do. I already tried telling him it’s not Ingrid, but he doesn’t believe me!” Felix squinted up at Sylvain.</p><p> </p><p>“Why <em>don’t</em> you two just go out. Maybe then you can stop bringing random girls over to your dorm.” Ingrid made a face, and Sylvain just gagged. They both looked at Felix, who just looked stony faced back. “What?”</p><p> </p><p>“That’s gross! That’d be like dating my sister.” Ingrid just huffed and swung her lance at Sylvain, who deflected it and returned the swing.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m dating someone already.” Felix stopped to look at her.</p><p> </p><p>“You got some unfortunate knight to put up with you?”</p><p> </p><p>“Ha ha. And it’s not a knight, it’s Dorothea.”</p><p> </p><p>“Woah, how come I’ve never heard of this?’</p><p> </p><p>“Because I wasn’t telling you on purpose, Sylvain. And it hasn’t been very long, only about a month. We didn’t want it to spread around because she’s in a different class, and...you know.” Sylvain just nodded, parring Ingrid’s jab at his chest. He understood. Her father would likely not be very thrilled if he found out. They exchanged blows for a bit longer, before she spoke up again.</p><p> </p><p>“So, who is it actually?”</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t you know already? There’s only one other blond in the Blue Lions, and Mercedes doesn’t use a lance.”</p><p> </p><p>“I thought I’d at least pretend I haven’t seen you making eyes at him all class.”</p><p> </p><p>“How polite of you.”</p><p> </p><p>“What?” They ignored Felix.</p><p> </p><p>“You’re going to have to tell him the truth. You can’t seriously think this will all just blow over.” When Sylvain didn’t answer, she swung her lance harder at him. “You really think he’s just going to forget about it? What are you afraid of anyways?”</p><p> </p><p>“Well, you know he’s never really been interested in romantic stuff. Why would this be any different?” He purposefully ignored the last part of her statement. “Trust me, I’m sure by the end of the week, he’ll have put this out of his mind, and we can just pretend I never said anything in the first place.”  Ingrid just frowned at him, and finally knocked the lance out of his hands by smacking the area on his arm she punched. Sylvain dropped the lance and starting complaining again.</p><p> </p><p>“Who’s the person you actually have feelings for?” Felix was still ignored.</p><p> </p><p>◇◇◇</p><p> </p><p>“This is the third time. That’s not a coincidence.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, I know…”</p><p> </p><p>“Sylvain, this is starting to get bad, and if this gets any worse, you WILL be sorry.”</p><p> </p><p>Three days after the misunderstanding with Dimitri, it seemed Sylvain was right and he’d forgotten all about it, or at least put it out of his mind. Ingrid hadn’t admitted defeat though, and when Dimitri asked Ingrid and Sylvain to dinner with him in a restaurant outside of Garegg Mach in the town nearby with claims of “Felix already said no”, she gave him a knowing look and a jab into the bruise on his arm. He’d insisted nothing was suspicious because “Dimitri’s gonna be there too, it’s not like he’s setting us up”, only to be proven wrong when he got to the restaurant and Dimitri suddenly took off, claiming “the Professor wanted to see me about some house activities, but the meal’s already been paid for, so feel free to eat without me”. It was a terrible lie, seeing as everybody knew Byleth spent his evenings fishing on Sundays (“Dusk and dawn are the best hours for fishing”). He was in denial, but by the third instance of ‘you guys wanna have dinner sorry Felix said no oh no I need to be somewhere else sorry but you two have fun’ it was getting hard to sit across from Ingrid and act like Dimitri isn’t trying very hard to set up a date in what he hoped was a sneaky way (especially when he actually asked Felix if Dimitri even asked him if he wanted to have dinner after the second time and Felix said no along with “well if the boar wasn’t going to be there anyways, why didn’t you invite me you jackass”). Still, he sat across from Ingrid and just quietly ate his soup under her withering gaze. </p><p> </p><p>“You’re lucky I haven’t told Dorothea about this. If she doesn’t already know from the rumor mill already, which I wouldn’t be surprised about.”</p><p> </p><p>“Why do you keep saying yes then?”</p><p> </p><p>“I was hoping you’d gather your courage and confront Dimitri about this, tell him he’s mistaken and, oh I don’t know, <em>just tell him you have feelings for him.” </em></p><p> </p><p>“Funny joke, Ingrid.”</p><p> </p><p>“Sylvain, I’m being serious! What’s your problem anyways? You tell plenty of girls you love them and other sappy garbage, why are you being such a coward about this?” He cowed at her words, but knew she was right.</p><p> </p><p>“It’s just different.” She crossed her arms.</p><p> </p><p>“How so?”</p><p> </p><p>“It just is, okay?!” He took a breath in and sat back, looking out the open window next to them. “I didn’t mean it those times. It’s easy to say things you don’t mean to people you don’t care about. This is...this is Dimitri.” Ingrid waited for him to continue, but he didn’t. He was leaning back in his seat, his torso turned towards the window and away from her.</p><p> </p><p>“This <em>is</em> Dimitri. Even if he doesn’t return your feelings, he’s not going to treat you any differently. I really don’t understand why you think telling him will ruin your friendship.”</p><p> </p><p>“You don’t know that. Even if he doesn’t talk to be differently, it just won’t be the same. We could never go back. I don’t even know if he thinks of men that way, or <em>anyone</em> that way. Maybe he’s like Felix, and he’s more interested in his lancework than dating. It’d be better if I just kept it to myself, and-“</p><p> </p><p>“And what? Keep doing this until the end of the school year? You said it yourself, Dimitri is stubborn, once he has his mind set on something, he won’t give it up. Look, I don’t care how you do it, but you need to fix this NOW. It hasn’t even been a week and he’s set up a dinner date <em>three times</em>. You can bet there will be a fourth.” She leveled her eyes at him, but he was still looking away. She sighed angrily, but went back to her roast. Eventually, the air cleared a bit and Sylvain untangled himself, uncrossing his arms and legs, turning back to face Ingrid and his food. Only once his shoulders relaxed did she speak up again.</p><p> </p><p>“This isn’t going to end well.” Sylvain waved his hand dismissively.</p><p> </p><p>“Come on. If he can’t even set up a dinner date stealthily, there’s no way he’d graduate past that. He’s got to know he’s not exactly subtle. I bet you he’ll give up by next week Thursday. You watch.”</p><p> </p><p>◇◇◇</p><p> </p><p>Well, he was right about one thing: Dimitri gave up on setting up the dinner dates between Sylvain and Ingrid by next week, partially because Ingrid declined the fourth and fifth time, and because Seteth had interrogated both of them on why they were spending so much time outside of the monastery. Likely he knew of Sylvain ”unruly” reputation, and was trying to prevent “future inappropriate contact” or something (he didn’t really listen). Ingrid was pretty pissed with him and grabbed his ear like an angry nanny, hissing, “Tell. Him. The. TRUTH” before letting him go and storming off, leaving him rubbing a sore ear outside of the cathedral and a sinking feeling in his chest, and not because of the lecture. It’s not often the prospect of embarrassing yourself in front of your crush when he inevitably turns you down and avoids you like the plague for the rest of forever presents itself. </p><p> </p><p>...okay, maybe that was a bit much. But it’s not as if his fears were unfounded, because he’s seen Dimitri do that exact thing to a girl that gave him a love letter in the first month of the semester. She’s not even in their class, but Dimitri took extra care to never come near her again after turning her down politely the next day. Maybe it really would be different, and he wouldn’t have to worry about...well, that. He’s never really been much of an optimist, though.</p><p> </p><p>Things were starting to get a bit out of control. He almost wishes they could go back to the dinner dates. At least that was away from their peers. Now, it was flowers left for Ingrid with a book on chivalry and a note “discreetly” from “Syl.” It was suggestions to the Professor that he put Sylvain and Ingrid on stable duty every day (which, to be fair, the Professor did anyways since other both were the only cavalry units in the class). It was abrupt and absolutely excruciatingly awkward conversations started by Dimitri between classes about dating and, Goddess save him, <em>marriage</em>, with strong (and not subtle) hints toward Sylvain and Ingrid. Sylvain pleaded with Ingrid to tell Dimitri she was dating someone already, but Dimitri didn’t guess Ingrid on stubbornness for nothing. She refused, claiming, “You started this, and you WILL be the one to finish it. I don’t owe an explanation to His Highness. But you sure owe him the truth.” </p><p> </p><p>He was starting to crack. If he had to listen to Dimitri discuss marriage and ask about Sylvain and Ingrid’s ideal weddings one more time, he was going to shrivel up and die like a worm on the pavement. There was still that weight in his chest, like a pegasus sitting on his rib cage, making his voice die and his legs lock up everytime he even thought about walking over to the prince and explaining everything. It wouldn’t let up no matter what he said to psych himself up. <em>Come on, you’re supposed to be the class famous flirt! Just walk right up to him and tell him you love him! That you’ve loved him since the school year started, maybe before that. That you love how hard he works, and how genuine he is. How much you want to protect him, how you would give your life if it meant he’d never have to suffer again…</em></p><p> </p><p>And that was just it, wasn’t it? This wasn’t Sylvain the Philanderer, the man who breaks women’s hearts as a hobby. This was Sylvain Gautier, the man who was in love with his friend, and his prince. And he’s gotta say, he doesn’t particularly care for that Sylvain. He’d been wearing the disguise of a carefree lout, he’d almost tricked himself into believing there wasn’t anything under it. Yet here it was, clawing its way out, and tearing the rest of him to shreds. The easiest part of loving Dimitri from afar was the knowledge that it meant he would never see the parts of Sylvain he hated the most. Now that the possibility of him having to come out with his feelings, knowing it was the only way to fix all this, it was almost worth the possible fallout that could result from holding it all in. The truth of the matter was, he wasn’t so afraid of Dimitri saying no.</p><p> </p><p>He was afraid of him saying yes.</p><p> </p><p>◇◇◇</p><p> </p><p>Dedue had approached Sylvain, which he normally only did when Sylvain had been making trouble as usual. As it stands, he’d been too in his own head about the whole situation to even think about flirting with girls, which probably hadn’t been helping the quickly spreading rumor that he did indeed like Ingrid. While Dedue had been known to spend his time in the greenhouse, he hadn’t expected him to come up next to him with a watering can while Sylvain stared at the stupid ungrateful carnations, doing nothing for his frayed nerves.</p><p> </p><p>“Sylvain.”</p><p> </p><p>“Dedue.” </p><p> </p><p>“I did not expect to see you here. Normally, it is just me and the flowers.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, well, I just...needed to clear my head. It’s been a stressful week.” He didn’t even have the energy to put up an act at this point. Not like Dedue would’ve appreciated it anyways. He just hummed and started watering the flowers. Sylvain watched the water fall on the violets and tried to imagine what it’d be like to be a flower and not have to think about anything. </p><p> </p><p>“I am glad I found you. There is...something of importance I wished to speak with you about.” Sylvain frowned at his words. That couldn’t be good.</p><p> </p><p>“If you’ve been hearing about somebody womanizing again, I promise you it’s not me.”</p><p> </p><p>“No, it is not anything of that nature. I’ll just cut right to the chase. His Highness recently spent all last night writing a long and detailed letter. He hadn’t the time to properly seal and deliver it to a messenger before he had to leave for a training exercise with our Professor, so he asked me to do it, seeing as I was not participating. As I was going to seal the letter, I noticed it was addressed to Count Galatea. I would never dare to look into His Highness’s business. However, I am also...acutely aware of the situation going on between you, His Highness and Ingrid.” Sylvain’s heart fell further and further out through his body and into the floor with every word.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, sh-...Dedue, please PLEASE tell me you-” Dedue nodded, albeit a little guiltily.</p><p> </p><p>“As much as it shames me to admit it, I did in fact dispose of the letter once I read the intention to suggest you and Ingrid be wed. I am sure His Highness meant no ill will, and it is simply a misunderstanding between the three of you. Ingrid was...a little less than pleased when I informed her, and did not thank me, but I do not begrudge her.” Sylvain sighed with relief, but practically felt his heart shoot up from where it was in the ground and all the way into his throat with Dedue’s next words.</p><p> </p><p>“I really think you should inform His Highness the truth of the matter.” </p><p> </p><p>“Wh-hat?? I, don’t get me wrong, I’m really grateful about what you did, but what makes you think-” He was cut off when Dedue gave him a look, accidentally splashing a bit of water onto his shoes.</p><p> </p><p>“I am fortunate enough to be in possession of a pair of eyes. And even if those failed me, I have overheard you and Mercedes talking. You are not as quiet as you’d like to think you are when you visit her in her dorm. I can hear you on the way up the stairs from the greenhouse.” Sylvain cursed himself. Just when he thinks he can discreetly speak to Mercedes about all this when there was no one around, it just so happened the second sneakiest person in the Blue Lions would walk right on past her dorm by the greenhouse. Still undeterred despite learning of his inability to keep this secret from a growing number of people in the class, he squatted down, staring at the water on his boots.</p><p> </p><p>"Then you heard why I can't tell him." Dedue hummed, sprinkling the last of the water on the lillies.</p><p> </p><p>"You are afraid."</p><p> </p><p>"I didn't say that to her."</p><p> </p><p>"You didn't have to. She knew. I know."</p><p> </p><p>"As I said. You know why I can't tell him. Why should it matter, anyways? Sure, I want to fix all this with Ingrid and stop having Dimitri ask me over dinner what my ideal honeymoon would be like. It sucks seeing Ingrid so mad at me."</p><p> </p><p>"Your pride is worth more than her comfort and happiness?" Sylvain felt a pang of anger boiling up, but swallowed it. Dedue had a point, and he <em>was</em> being selfish. Still, his voice sounded sharp with his next words.</p><p> </p><p>"So what? Just come out to Dimitri that, not only did he waste all his time and energy on us because I was too much of a little bitch to just tell him I'm in love with him, but also because I'm a selfish asshole who would rather drag it out than to confess him? As if he'd ever feel the same in the first place, but a fat chance in the eternal flames after he finds <em>that</em> out."</p><p> </p><p>"I didn't say that," Dedue said, much more calm and gentle than he had any right to be. It did him good however, as Sylvain felt his anger die as quickly as it had cropped up. They went silent as Dedue walked away to refill his watering can, and Sylvain idly prodded at the budding flowers. When he returned, he was still calm. "You fear that he will dislike the person you feel you truly are."</p><p> </p><p>"Nice guess. Did you see that with you eyes too?" His lips tightened, but he visibly held back a retort. Sylvain sighed, raking a hand through his hair. "Sorry...yeah, I just...I can't imagine he'd even feel the same, much less he'd still like me after he sees what a mess I am."</p><p> </p><p>"Well, I can't reassure you on the second part of that. But I am pretty confident when I say that you needn't worry about the first." That jolted him out of his thoughts, and he shot upright.</p><p> </p><p>"You...you don't mean...Dedue, that's not a very funny joke."</p><p> </p><p>"Who said I was joking? I do, after all, spent an inordinate amount of time around His Highness. I am privy to many of his behaviors and...subconscious actions." Sylvain felt his heart racing in it's new home in his throat, and was suddenly very aware of how bright the setting sun was in the greenhouse and how fragrant the flowers were.</p><p> </p><p>"I...well, how can you be sure? After all, there was that girl-" Dedue cut him off before he could finish. </p><p> </p><p>"You mean the girl from the noble family distantly related to Count Varley? The letter she wrote to His Highness was...a bit overly 'enthusiastic'. No doubt he was not sure how to handle her after rejecting her, and sought to simply avoid contact with her instead of dealing with her continued advances. No, the way he gazes upon you from afar is much different. I may not be an expert on romance. But I can safely say that it would still be worth the risk of telling him how you feel." It seemed like the greenhouse was very hot all of a sudden. His mind was reeling like he'd been slapped silly for making a dumb comment around Ingrid. Speaking of her, he should probably go find her and apologize about being such a dickhead. There was still that small knot (well, huge wriggling mass) of anxiety in his chest, thinking about the 'what if he hates what he sees when he removes the mask', but the surge of bravery Dedue had given him by saying that he could even have <em>a chance</em> was enough to get him unfrozen from his spot and stumbling away with a hurried "bye thanks uh wish me luck" to him.</p><p> </p><p>At least, if Dimitri said no, he'd have someone to be mad at. Well two, if the second part turned out to be true anyways. </p><p> </p><p>◇◇◇</p><p> </p><p>Okay, so this was <em>not</em> how he imagined fixing things. Hey, it's not like he blamed Ingrid after all she's put up with. Still, watching Dimitri get reamed out before she laid into him was really painful to see, more so when he had to watch Dimitri's face go from shocked to fearful to guilty. It did not feel very good, and was the sole reason why he'd chased after him instead of her. Plus, she uh...probably didn't want to see him right now. </p><p> </p><p>It had been over dinner. He'd just sat down with them, intending on asking Dimitri to speak in private after their meal, when Dimitri had to bring up something about Ingrid's father and his search for her spouse. As Dedue had said, she was aware of the letter, and she just...exploded. Started yelling that no, she did not like Sylvain, and in fact was already dating somebody else, and "how could you think I like Sylvain like that anyways?!" (which felt a little harsh, in his opinion). Dimitri had quickly withered under her shouting, and he could only thank the Goddess that the dining hall was already pretty loud, because only a few tables around them seemed to hear. It was still going to become prime Garegg Mach gossip, even if after she'd finish chewing out Dimitri, she hadn't turned to Sylvain with her face red and snarled, "I don't even have anything to say to you, coward" before getting up and storming out. Dimitri had quickly excused himself once he was sure Ingrid had left the area, with a hasty excuse to needing to get started on his homework. That left Sylvain sitting at the table, already feeling his previous confidence slide away like the sun disappearing under the horizon behind him. Felix was no help, who had pointedly ignored everything from the second Ingrid angrily slammed her hands on the table and had scooted down the table closer to Ashe and Caspar. Left alone, he barely had time to decide just how brave he was going to be before he was already standing and quickly running after Dimitri in the direction of the second floor dorms. He only received a few weird looks on the way there.</p><p> </p><p>When he got to Dimitri's dorm, he hesitated at the door. Did Dimitri even want to see him after that mess? Sure it was Ingrid that had yelled at him, and Sylvain was literally just sitting there, but what she'd said, about Sylvain being a coward...he would likely ask, and he'd have to tell him. About not explaining everything. About waiting for it to get bad. He really owed Ingrid a good apology and maybe a visit to that restaurant that makes the steak roast she likes so much. Steeling himself, he knocked on the door.</p><p> </p><p>"Dimitri? It's me, Sylvain. Can...I come in?" There was a loud shuffling behind the door, and it abruptly swung open. Dimitri was stood close to it, like he ready to slam it shut if need be. He tried to look nonchalant, but was clearly agitated. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Please don't pretend that nothing just happened… </em>
</p><p> </p><p>"Oh, hello, Sylvain! What, um, brings you here?" <em>Oh Goddess, he is trying to pretend we both didn't just get our asses chewed out.</em> Sylvain took in a breath, but spotted movement out of the corner of his eye. There were people in the hallway. He let it out slowly, before just softly saying, "Can I come in? There something I need to tell you." Dimitri didn't answer, but just opened the door wider and allowed him to slip inside, before closing the door. Sylvain just stood awkwardly by the entrance, tangling his fingers through the hair on the back of his head and watching Dimitri plop himself down on his desk chair. </p><p> </p><p>"So, um, about what just happened-" Dimitri cut him off.</p><p> </p><p>"I'm so sorry. I thought, maybe if I could get you two together, it would...make you two happy? I did not know Ingrid was already in a relationship…"</p><p> </p><p>"It's alright, it was my fault too. I knew, but I didn't say anything when I really should have." Dimitri looked confused, and stared up at Sylvain. </p><p> </p><p>"Wait, you...you knew? She was involved with someone?"</p><p> </p><p>"Yeah. She didn't want to tell you because it's...well, it's not someone in our class, and it's...not someone you'd expect. I don't want to say everything in case she doesn't want anyone else to know besides me, but yeah, I already knew and that she wasn't interested in me." He paused, and tried to breathe without letting the other know how hard his heart was beating. "Ingrid wasn't the one I was describing." Dimitri frowned, and his brow creased in that way he does whenever he's confused. He wanted to reach over and smooth it out.</p><p> </p><p>"Then...who else would you be describing? And why would you go along with everything I did?" Sylvain squirmed a little. Was it hot in here? This was so much harder now that he was actually DOING it rather than making some kind of half hearted promise in his mind. The bruise on his arm had long healed, but he could almost still feel it. <em>Tell him the truth...even if it means you could lose him.</em></p><p> </p><p>"No. It...it's you, Dimitri. It's always been you."</p><p> </p><p>"..." He didn't react or say anything for a...well, a long time, just sitting there and staring dumbfounded at Sylvain. Enough that he felt himself chickening out again, but he tried to press on instead of turning and fleeing with his tail tucked between his legs. It's not like it can get any worse at this point.</p><p> </p><p>"I...should have been up front about it. I was going to just tell you, but I kind of lost my nerve at the last second and tried to just hint at it. You saw how well that went...I didn't tell you afterwards because I...well, I didn't think you'd feel the same. And you…" Dedue's words echoed in his head. He swallowed down the rising lump in his chest. "...you may not like the real person I turn out to be. I'm not great at being upfront with my emotions. But I felt like, if I told you the truth, you'd find out what a selfish jerk I was the longer I waited. At first, I guess I was afraid you'd say no and I just ruined our whole friendship. As this whole thing got dragged out...it turned into the fear that you would find out what a horrible person I was. How you totally deserve better than me." <em>How angry and jealous I am. How bitter I am about everything to do with my birthright, and crests, and the whole Kingdom in general. How could you love a man like that. How could you love someone like me…</em></p><p> </p><p>"But...why?" Dimitri spoke so softly, he almost didn't catch what he said. Sylvain came out of his thoughts to focus on him, seeing for the first time his hands were clenched on his lap. "Why would you...choose me?" That resonated with him. Something seemed to click into place. He stepped a bit closer to him, still within arm's length. </p><p> </p><p>"'Why?' How couldn't I? You can't really pick who you fall in love with, but...it's because it's you. You're kind, and determined. You want to see the world changed for the better, and I know you wouldn't hesitate to make it happen. You work harder than almost anyone I know. And your eyes...when you're truly happy, they light up like they did when you were younger. I wanted to make your eyes light up like that all the time. That when I knew for sure. I love you." Dimitri's hands clenched harder in his lap. The part of his tunic he was holding unto had started tearing, but he hardly noticed as he looked at the floor.</p><p> </p><p>"Sylvain, I...while I appreciate the thought, I don't think you understand what that entails. I...I am not someone meant to be loved. If you knew the thing I was, the horrible beast that lives just under my skin…" He paused for a long time. "It's you deserves so much more than what I have to offer. I'm not even a complete human being. I would never be worthy of your love." </p><p> </p><p>"Isn't that what I just said about myself?"</p><p> </p><p>"Yes, but you don't-" Whatever he had to say after that was cut off when Sylvain grabbed his hands. The shock of the contact made him jump, and he looked up sharply, into Sylvain's hazel eyes. The look on his face, so determined and yet so soft, felt like it was stealing his breath away, but did not pull his hands back. </p><p> </p><p>"Dimitri, who cares about all that? So, neither of us are really up front when it comes to our true feelings. Does it even matter? I love you, and I want to love every part of you, good or bad. Because I know even if you showed me the ugliest part of yourself, it wouldn't change how I felt about you. Would you...be willing to do the same for me?" Dimitri stared up at him. He almost dared not to blink, fearing this was another dream and he'd open his eyes only to find Sylvain not there and an ache in his heart so long ignored. Slowly, he felt his mouth curled into a smile, and saw Sylvain's mouth do the same. His hand moved, and he entwined his fingers with the other, leaning up to bring his face closer, their lips closer. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>"I would."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I'm so UUUUNNNGH but here it is. I guess.</p><p>Also don't worry, Sylvain gets to apologize to Ingrid and they make up in the way annoying siblings do. </p><p>- Psii</p></blockquote></div></div>
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